Quick Thoughts
Wow, life has been crazy and busy for me. I started blogging the other day and it screwed up. My work schedule has not gotten any better...in fact it has gotten worse, but I am patient and eternally optimistic. The hours have actually gotten crappier and even everyone at work agrees that I am getting screwed, so we will just have to pray it all works out. I am fairly certain that I will forever be known as the girl who complains about her schedule though...but hey...us full time employees should not be getting screwed! Anyway, I would kill for a 9-5 job...but wouldn't we all :) I like my job and the people...just saying there are lots of changes that need to be made.
J is NOT staying till November but I am still uncertain as to when exactly he is coming home. I think probably close to the end of August, but I will be selfish and hope sooner. We have been having some really great conversations lately. We stayed up till 3 the other night talking about the lesson I heard at church and then about faith and "religion" and spirituality. It was a really fun conversation. I am so excited to get him back in the state, but I am also very scared. I am scared. Huh...there you have it...I am. I still have up a pretty big wall with him and I haven't quite figured out why yet...this is gonna sound corny...but there is something about him that I can't quite resist.
Let me explain what I mean...I can talk A LOT...but he and I have talked EVERY day for the last 4 months, excluding MAYBE 7 days. And I would say our conversations average over 3.5 hours. We have actually had an 11 hour conversation. 11 hours! HE does NOT talk that much to people and hates being on the phone...so if that is a lot for me...think about for a guy who never ever talks on the phone! Anyway...I have tried to end things with us twice, I have put limits on how often we talk, I have put limits (in my head) on how serious I can get about him...basically I have set a whole bunch of rules in my head for my relationship with him....and well....I believe I have yet to follow one of those ridiculous rules..there is something about him that draws me in......and I am scared for the day we break each others hearts.....I care a lot about him....this is life...I know. Sigh......
J is NOT staying till November but I am still uncertain as to when exactly he is coming home. I think probably close to the end of August, but I will be selfish and hope sooner. We have been having some really great conversations lately. We stayed up till 3 the other night talking about the lesson I heard at church and then about faith and "religion" and spirituality. It was a really fun conversation. I am so excited to get him back in the state, but I am also very scared. I am scared. Huh...there you have it...I am. I still have up a pretty big wall with him and I haven't quite figured out why yet...this is gonna sound corny...but there is something about him that I can't quite resist.
Let me explain what I mean...I can talk A LOT...but he and I have talked EVERY day for the last 4 months, excluding MAYBE 7 days. And I would say our conversations average over 3.5 hours. We have actually had an 11 hour conversation. 11 hours! HE does NOT talk that much to people and hates being on the phone...so if that is a lot for me...think about for a guy who never ever talks on the phone! Anyway...I have tried to end things with us twice, I have put limits on how often we talk, I have put limits (in my head) on how serious I can get about him...basically I have set a whole bunch of rules in my head for my relationship with him....and well....I believe I have yet to follow one of those ridiculous rules..there is something about him that draws me in......and I am scared for the day we break each others hearts.....I care a lot about him....this is life...I know. Sigh......
posted by Becca @ 7/25/2006 09:52:00 AM
3 Comments:
At Friday, July 28, 2006 7:34:00 AM,
Joel said…
I once dated a girl (who happened to be my roomate's girlfriend) for an entire summer and we did that talk on the phone for hours and hours every night... I was only sleeping like 3 before I had to get up and work but for some reason it didn't seem to matter. we just kept talking and talking and talking... and now I can't even remember what we talked about.
At Friday, July 28, 2006 9:56:00 AM,
sonrisa morena said…
just keep on talking!!! i say :-) nothing like good conversations in a healthy relationship
At Friday, July 28, 2006 9:20:00 PM,
Lindsay said…
Now I know why you haven't been calling ME! Don't you know its all about me!! ;)
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